The Secret Code

That can't be broken

They cannot stop, defend against, or counter attack something they have somehow become incapable of understanding. A language they cannot understand. A code they cannot crack. An enigma to them.

Story Time:

My abuser could no longer predict my actions once I went dark. When he wasn’t able to find new ways to gaslight me. Then he must have lost his fucking mind, because with only his imagination and significant bar charges, he decided what I was doing and marched forward confidently as if any of it actually happened. His ego, emotions, and ability to fathom the possibility of any other way of thinking or acting other than he guessed, overrode his sense of sight and ability to logically reason. Meanwhile I’m off living my best life with no idea about any of it.

Then I read the crap the abusive parent he weaponized against me after 35 years of estrangement. I was fascinating! I was prominently featured in family lore I’d never even heard. She sure seems to think tech workers have a lot of free time to kick up petty bullshit, lol. But the most interesting part is that it showed the same pattern, without regard for my overall stability in life after leaving home at 15. Just assumptions whispered among abusers as she drug my first husband in as a reference saying whatever shit he decided I did.

It is a terrifying, crazy train, cluster fuck, shit show game of telephone. I’m just trying to live my damn life and could give a fuck how delusional they all are or what they think of me. People who know me will judge me by my actions and the energy I put into the world.

People who know her have already done the same which is why she has at least 10 marriages and 2 estranged children under her belt. My adult child willingly keeps me in her life and my besties are friends I’ve had for 25+ years. No drama, no bullshit, nice and peaceful, lots of laughter. All of us black sheep of our families. Fancy that!

The only value in this, other than fully validating my impulse to remove these people from my lives, deciding what sort of person I did NOT want to be (a pretty back-ass way to come at it, but that’s how I seem to roll), comedic, whatever I learned of course, but most is giving me to the experience notice a pattern worth sharing.

This is just a small sampling from one person’s personal life, and only the most intimate connections. I’m sure you have your own life examples, to round out the guided tour through my observations.

So imagine how absolute clown shoes, kookoo bananas, carnival reality those who lean narcissist have led themselves into. They aren’t born, they are MADE and we are living in a propaganda machine that produces them. This too is death by a million paper cuts, mostly self-inflicted. And sure, leave them to feed on each other, mark zombie apocalypse off your bingo card, because the good always rise to the top.

There are more good people than bad people in this world. The trouble is when the bad ones start congregating and fucking shit up for everyone else. You’ve got the worst minds working together. So must we.

I’m not bothered if someone is brown, gay, or disabled, I AM very fucking much bothered if they happen to be a nazi, fascist, or tin soldier terrorist, thanks. I won’t tolerate it and am only too happy to tell them all the fuck about it. I will not be intimidated into silence. Those with better far better chances and deeper relational hooks have tried and failed, so best of fucking luck to you morons. The only people who ever seem to have a vested interest in silencing me are abusers. It is for their comfort and I feel no obligation to protect the guilty.

Release the fucking Epstein evidence.

They see empathy as a moral weakness, which should tell anyone with any humanity left what we are up against. As it has played out for me a few times in my personal life, my "weakness” has actually turned out to be my super power. This is ours, not only because it is “good” but also because it cannot be understood or taken from us.

Love is disarming. It is the only real way to win hearts and minds. Respect cannot be commanded. What can only been given freely can never be taken. And the people who most want to control the hearts of minds of others lack the one thing that could ever provide it. Sucks to suck.

Humor, or any creativity outlet is therapeutic. Enjoy whatever positive benefits it gives you. That sends a message too. Everything I post here does, not just what I happen to write.

We’ve been told, and many voices advocating love have been silenced. We know the sort of people doing it and what happens when we stop loving or fighting them. We become them. One side is pacified while the other is militarized. Neither of those are love. That pretty much says it all.

“Never for money, always for love” - Talking Heads

When it gets down to having to use violence, then you are playing the system's game. The establishment will irritate you -- pull your beard, flick your face -- to make you fight. Because once they've got you violent, then they know how to handle you. The only thing they don't know how to handle is nonviolence and humor. - John Lennon