We hate what we create
Society is broken and it's breaking the children raised in it
A thing generated about a year ago after feeding samples my own art in and using the descriptions provided as prompts.
The manosphere, by targeting very young men for whom it is normal to long for intimacy they may not have experienced in their young lives, is feeding on normal adolescent insecurities to radicalize them.
I read elsewhere today that Trump is riling up young men, shaking them up and weaponizing their misplaced frustrations to his favored maligned groups.
They may identify with incel because it linguistically fits; more so if they are autistic or otherwise very literal.
The idea that loneliness is solved by playing keyboard commando with other lonely hearts [also not getting any] rather than finding some activities you enjoy and meeting people with similar interests through organic networking is absurd.
Incessant complaining and embracing the role of victim accomplishes nothing and makes someone disagreeable to be around. It's not “alpha” and not certainly not dating material for most. Attitude matters more than “status.”
So, let’s talk about toxic gender role gatekeeping, too. If you are told something is only for the opposite gender, and you genuinely enjoy that thing, why would you believe chromosomes, hormones, and genitalia solely determine gender?
Especially if you were told those things in years 0-7, when many selections (toys, media) happen. Neuroscience tells us we take it as absolute truth until our filters develop around age 7 (it will be a range).
Let us not forget that “forbidden” is “enticing.”
I’m not saying this is everyone’s origin story, it’s just one example; things got trendy, people used it to get their parents to look up from their phones, or to rebel and shock those they know won’t like it
My 21 yo went to middle school with a few of this variety. I noticed it was getting trendy with that attention-starved upper-middle class born female demographic. I figured it would be a phase for some, trying on personas as many of us do in adolescence. Those who follow the crowd can observe what draws one.
Sound far-fetched? People copycat suicide too.
Sho’ ‘nuff, not everyone continued once the novelty and attention wore off, pointing to their motivation. Not one was prescribed any medication by a school or received a surgery at a school.
Parents who cannot wait to reject their children for being alphabet soup family are BIG MAD the school doesn’t have to disclose what pronouns the child prefers, probably for their safety. And schools are accused ot practicing fucking medicine over it. Grow the fuck up.
My children would not ask this or anything else be kept from me by the school. Weird.
When I was in tech, a person in our org was transitioning. I had never, to my knowledge, met a transgendered person before, and I was in my 30s. Maybe it’s just the circles I ran in, but most of the adult trans people I’ve met were autistic and born male. They struggle to read cues and fit in already.
Our toxic childbirth instructor outed my ob/gyn. It never occurred to me that she wasn’t born a woman, and I did not care. I learned that all patients had to be notified while she was transitioning. My lgbt-alphabet soup family favored her practice and would have probably been supportive. I’m not sure how the normies would have taken it.
I don’t have gaydar either. I accept people as they are and present themselves to me. I do not care if they are different than me.
Flavor is not the first thing I consider when it comes to love. How I feel is. I don’t understand ruling out half the world right out of the gate, but to each their own.
The father (from LA, and a lot of people assumed he was gay) was overjoyed to confirm his “man hands” suspicions.
My doctor went on Sabbatical repairing genital mutilation in girls in developing countries and did not return before I delivered. I joked she got me knocked up because she prescribed the fertility pills that did the job.
Because it is a small world, I became friends with a transitioning woman after helping her find her lost bag at a grown up dancing party. Weirder, my former doctor was now her doctor and ultimately performed her bottom surgery.
She was from Australia and a DJ who threw “Bush Parties!” Gal pals! I invited her to my music production group. She moved here to work at Amazon for employee benefits, which included her transition. She hated it there and reaffirmed I had no desire to return to tech.
Amazon tells themselves Microsoft employers are the losers of the tech world. The pecking order continues just as the dumb “portal wars” did
My old boss has worked at enough of them to tell me the real truth, haha.
If it is a benefit they offered, surely she was not the only one working there to avail themselves of it. I later became aware of how predatory tech has been toward my Autistic and ADHD brotheren and um, sisteren in my era. I can confirm it has continued and is not limited to a single evil empire.
See how they salivate over AI?
Imagine people with hyperfocus, stamina, intelligence, logic, maybe limited social life? We are conditionally accepted for our super powers, which we must also maintain a constant mask amidst because our needs and limitations aren’t convenient.
Work them until they burn out thrice or breed twice,
then cast them to the wind
She lacked the conditioning and doesn’t know the unspoken rules of womanhood, or whatever. Like a wobbly foal, she made some missteps, which I chose to treat as a mentoring opportunity rather than being mad. We haven’t had a falling out but we haven’t spoken in years. I have 4 of my own children to raise.
There were things she needed to learn and understand for her safety, which our friend group and their various polycules helped with.
About that. This was during a poly era. I’ve had a few sprints in various decades starting at age 16.
The algorithm is this: I finally decide those people are all awful, go into hermit mode to regenerate for a couple years, then head into a serious long-term thing [which in the past has turned into a fucking nightmare, fingers crossed I’ve got it right this time, lol].
I don’t notice patterns at all ;).
Naturally, my girlfriend-collecting boyfriend, who didn’t have time to dedicate to any of us (see also: polyfuckery), immediately started dating her after she stopped in to grab take-out after class where I was meeting him. He asked her out during our date night after inviting her to stay and eat.
There seem to be fetishists out there that wanna groom the transitioning. Be the first to pop that fresh pussy later and test for softened boundaries with someone in the vulnerable position as navigating a new gender and from what I understand is somewhat attention starved. There is a naivity there. It’s creepy to exploit that trait.
Even my “liberal” ex admitted he was transphobic.
That boyfriend showed a leaning for sure. He amassed quite a collection. Objectifying fetishism is yucky to me (chubby chasers, red head chasers, etc… we all have some preferences, but damn, involve the personality at some point, this isn’t Weird Science). A male friend (former, for this reason) was taking things faster than her comfort level when I intervened. Then HE turned into a nasty bitch to me over it and I blocked him, finally understanding the mixed reception he received in the local music scene.
Some smiles are really baring fangs.
Oooh, Halloweeny!
We all have our inherent biases. It’s in all in the programming. Some we are aware of and some not. I don’t promote bigotry, -isms, and generalizations. Unsurprisingly, I do not agree with or like the Terf movement or their views.
I am still interested in why people believe and do what they do.
Armchair anthropology stuff.
(not a scientifc study)
They feel their gender is being invaded, but to what end? A crime needs a motive.
Why make someone else’s personal decision about ourselves? Are they merely gatekeeping their gender?
On behalf of who? Women? Which women? Not me, and not many others.
I’m pro mind your own fucking business while staying in your own fucking lane, aside from kind interactions like helping someone in distress.
Perhaps there are some who romantacize the relative “advantages” of womanhood. There are people who manufacture or exaggerate their heritage to benefit it too. It is dispectful and dishonest. Not a good look.
Karma has her revenge. They are exposed. I liked it when they ripped the mask off the villain on Scooby-Doo, too.
Ruh-roh Raggy! A rystem meant to even the playing field a bit gets exploited by others?!
Zoiks! Jinkies!!
They just cannot stand knowing there is something they cannot have and devise a scheme to take it just the same. They are the love children of Verouca Salt and The Grinch.
Perhaps due to B cluster stuff or other mental illness, I don’t know. Borderline (probably) mom has variously claimed a lot of false credentials over the years. She’s intelligent and could have been anything, she wanted to be knocked up as soon as possible. Taken care of by a man. Victim of the world.
So, not an forensics expert/attorney/therapist with a degree in early childhood development who has worked in all of those fields. An imposter. What do you think “imposter syndrome” means to people like her and my ex, who uses imposter as one of his “handles?”
Their fear of discovery is real because is it a house of cards made from of a pack of lies. That’s why “appearances” are so important. They believe lipstick makes the pig more attractive. Oink.
In spite of all of this, I’m not aware of any hate groups specifically directed against appropriation.
With haters, is it just hate of the “other” daring to live their lives? Is it specific or would any group have done? Some people seem to need someplace to direct their rage. Anywhere but the systems causing it. It’s gotta be some other powerless pian causing their problems.
So what other reasons exist?
Men are paid better and have more power because of it. To me, it doesn’t make financial sense to change into a woman. And that’s before the makeup and pink razors and shit. Can’t be pay or advancement opportunities women don’t have to begin with taken from them.
Do they fear competition for men? I’ve already described the snakepit they are walking into there. I wouldn’t choose it. I’d be grateful someone is taking one for the team and keeping them occupied.
Do they resent someone laying claim to womanhood being allowed a fashionable shortcut past our various rituals, conditioning, men pawing at us, periods, pregnancy scares, societal pressures, and so on? They skipped the line? They didn’t pay the toll?
You got the (presumed relative) freedoms and benefits of growing up male and want to cash in on the plight of a woman?
Yes, but it handicapped them because some struggle to “woman” because of it. Plus some hate them just for being trans, so that’s an additional hurdle.
Other reasons?
I suck at justifying hate and I’m bored now.
If the authority figures in your life programmed acceptance of the idea that dancing, cooking, writing, quilting, nurturing your children, etc… are the sole domain of women, no self-respecting man would do it, and so on, either overtly or through redirection and accessibility, that is your truth until something shows you otherwise.
Further, “forbidden” becomes “enticing.” That’s why people will pay bank for stupid VIP experiences. Exclusivity.
Both situations demonstrate how society, and especially parents, play a starring role in shaping the views of roles impressionable young people, particularly men, then blame them for the outcome when the programming “takes.” Everyone is responsible for their actions, but they were handicapped by some pretty toxic messaging about the world instead of nurturing and acceptance at home.
Be sure to act surprised about it.
Encouraging critical independent thinking and self-reflection instead of trying to control them like robots or minions of blame might help.
Without it, that, we become what we fear and fate.