Sticks and Stones

They choose the words to hurt you precisely. Why not do the same?

A few of the things I noticed about my mother growing up:

• She could not mention someone without labeling and smearing them. A coworker would be [name], “dyke at work who kisses the bosses ass” or something. I only remember meeting one coworker, a black gentleman who was very nice and blessed me a lot. Maybe he understood what oppression I was being raised under.

• She went straight for the jugular on the first strike. She had an innate skill that allowed her to size someone up and strategically choose the cruelest attack.

• She claimed whatever credential she felt gave her credibility. Fake legal letterhead, now she claims to be some forensic (trauma porn) psychologist because it is a stronger position to attack my mental health. Yawn.

With me it was weight and abandonment.

I was 10lbs of shit in a 5lb bag at age 12, when I wore a size she “never wore at my age.” She didn’t like the matching dove running shorts me and my non-viking friends chose as part of our little cardboard box breakdancing endeavor she probably never knew about.

I’m sure clothing sizing never changed in 20 years and I’m sure she didn’t have MY father of Norwegian descent because that would be weird.

It took me having 3 daughters (my 9yo is 5’6), seeing what normal adolescent development is like, and more worldly people who had been to Norway in my life to understand that.

That was the size, incidentally, she checked herself into the hospital with “anorexia” with, which shipped my brother and I off to live with family, and I broke my arm in half and disclocated it, spending 2 weeks in the hospital being fed for a change. It was unfortunate for me that perfect storm, all my mothers creation, led to me getting chonky when I should have been slimming down as my daughters all did. Being put on restrictive diets fucked my metabolism, but fuck am I ever a cheap date where meals are concerned (and I can’t even drink).

She was an adult and meant to be a nurturing parent, she didn’t think or care about any of these things, just how to lash out and be cruel at her child. From her later claims that I was “fucking her boyfriends” (deep breath so as not to barf) she apparently didn’t want any competition, no matter how innocent or age appropriate.

That says more about her than a chubby pre-teen.

With abandonment, after fighting my father for custody, then hiding me across the country with her last name and husband du jour from him, she once left me and my brother and said she didn’t know if she was coming back. I was a little younger then and not bright enough to pray for her to make good on the threat. It was confusing and cruel.

I heard my aunt tell her son he ruined her life. Clearly she ruined it herself to be so nasty to a child she ran through every medication she could get prescribed to him for unknown “behavior” issues. A kid ignored by parents with their own interests raised on a diet of happy meals, video games, and toys for bribes every time you leave the house is bound to have some issues. It is the parent’s responsibility to enforce healthy limits, not outsource blame to the child.

That shit is far in the past. I learned at school to stop reacting to bullies. I tell my kids, when I stopped crying (yes they made me cry a lot) they stopped trying. That probably marked the end of me experiencing many emotions at all for several years until after I left home at 15, or perhaps my first divorce around 28, because surprise! that dude who started working on me when I was 13 was abusive too.

So now we’ve got grown ass adults who can’t remember how to deal with bullies. They get offended being called a variation of liberal as an insult. Like they do not understand being insulting was the point. So many years of being insulted on the behalf of others has led to people accepting labels that do not apply to them, then fighting their accuracy.

In ways, they have a point. Things got “too woke” to the point of infringing on others rights about what words they were allowed to use, instead of using discernment to separate ourselves from bullies on either side: the left choosing our words or the right mocking us for allowing it.

I tell my children (especially because as a parent there are a lot of blanket, “everyone’s” used when not all children were directly involved) if it doesn’t apply to you, it doesn’t apply to you. If you didn’t do anything wrong, do not accept responsibility for it and do not try to explain your way out of it. We do that to ourselves because we cannot stand sitting with the idea of being misunderstood. I’m here to tell you that nobody will understand any of us 100%. We aren’t fucking mind-readers for starters. We all received different programming and had different experiences. Our perspectives are different.

So, ignoring bullies is the first tip. Who the fuck are these people to make assumptions about you?

Fighting with fire is another. They know we are bound by “decency” they choose not to follow. It would be super insulting to call them women, gay, or trans. Is it bad or insulting to be any of those things? Of course not. Is it wrong to be Jesus-level woke (a doer not a virtue signaler)? Of course not. That was never the point. It’s insulting to awful people, not those cool with letting others simply exist.

We’re fucking writers, be creative:

Challenge one outside a restroom. Question their right to be there. Ask for a birth certificate. Be ready to report public indecency, lol.

Ask if Vance changed his name because he was trans and ask how he expects to vote without his husband’s permission in the future.

Ask them if they french kissed daddy with the same mouth they suck Musk’s dick.

Ask them how Trump’s baby carrot felt up his ass, or of their weight got in the way of anyone getting balls deep.

Ask them shit they don’t have a prepared Faux News talking point for.

Use the forbidden words because they believe you can’t.

A faggot is a bundle of twigs, let them clutch pearls over being called that.

A retardant is used to prevent something, as in children’s pajamas, drapes, furniture, or the clothes fire spinners wear. Ask them why they work so hard to prevent thinking for themselves while insisting nobody else does.

Personally, I like to mock incels with the fact that I have achieved more in my career AND sex life than them while they let older men afraid of the competition make them afraid of women like mormons run off excess young men they don’t use for free labor.

This sort of shit is great fun for them to do to others. If you must engage with them, at least do it in a way that is effective ON THEM. They were never better or more sharply-witted. They are simply comfortable with being meaner, and nastier because they are mindlessly following talking points from their fascist overlords who are the same way.

Just as any citizen may own a gun (with some exceptions) anyone may use any tactic that is effective for the job they are tackling. The left is habitually called “toothless” by me and others for their failure to fight effectively.

Consider putting someone in their place for good once in a while if you are called to. If you choose not to, at least understand what they are doing and don’t give them the satisfaction of getting butt-hurt and defining yourself for their amusement.

Nobody puts baby in a corner, or a box. She won’t put herself in one for you either.